I’ll be completely honest. When I initially stumbled across Near Sighted Owl‘s linkup I Am Proud of My Size I was not very interested. Body image is one of those topics that I just tend to shy away from engaging in. I don’t have very strong feelings either positive or negative in regards to my body… Largely, I’m just disinterested.
I’m a size 12, mostly. I’d be stunningly average it weren’t for the fact that I have breasts that can only be confined by a 34H bra.
That’s a detail that’s both could be considered a blessing and a curse.
On the one hand, I like the curves but I’m less enthusiastic about the fact that I have no choice but go to a specialty shop to buy and then drop $80 per bra. Never mind the fact that finding shirts that are stylish and actually fit nicely are something of a unicorn hunt and then are generally more than what I want to pay on a single clothing item.
There’s a reason why I’m a jeans and t-shirt girl 90% of the time. It’s called I’m cheap and lazy.
My elusive size exists in this no man’s land in between the women’s section and the plus size section. Most of the time what I find in women’s ends up being too small in the bust or end up being too short. What I find in the plus section fits fine in the bust but since I lack a significant belly makes me look like I’m wearing a small camping tent.
Logic would say, buy the plus sized shirt and alter to fit… but once again, I’m cheap and lazy.
And herein lies my issue with body image… It has nothing to do with my body. I’m happy with my body. My body is fine.
My issue has to do with fashion. I have a body type that is not mass market. It takes me so long to find things that fit acceptably that I have lost interest in being any sort of fashionable. I have better ways to spend my time. I have better ways to spend my money.
The reason I start feeling weird and ashamed is because I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to put a lot of money and effort into your wardrobe as a woman, and that I’m somehow inferior because I’m not all that interested… and that’s something I don’t think is okay either.
I know how you feel! I’m disproportionate myself, and it causes problems. I have a small waist but chunky thighs and long legs, meaning it’s virtually impossible for me find pants that fit my waist and thighs and that are long enough. A 4 fits my waist but a 6 fits my thighs better, and length is a whole other matter. I’m also a 32DD, which is pretty tricky since most clothing manufacturers just assume that if you’re a DD your band size is 36 or 38. (It’s also pretty hard to find bras, and when I do they’re usually ugly.) Sometimes when I buy a shirt or dress I have to go up two entire sizes to accommodate my chest. I also have a love/hate relationship with my boobs – sometimes I think they look great, other times they’re just a hassle.
The weird thing is that the ideal woman is supposed to have a big chest and small waist, yet when that’s actually your reality it’s difficult to find clothes that fit properly! There need to be more clothing manufacturers who make clothes for people like us!
The ugly bra thing is seriously the bane of my existence! I suppose I have the unique problem of having the hobby of being a burlesque dancer so I’m occasionally in the situation where people are going to see my undies, and the fact that bras in my size aren’t cute and are usually minimizers rather than accentuators tends to really throw a damper on my desire to create new acts… It makes a huge costuming headache! Most of my friends have smaller boobs than me, and they can run out on a whim and buy a cute molded cup push up bra in any color for $10-$15 at practically any store that sells bras and then just start decorating… whereas, I have to go find a specialty shop which may or may not have my size of the one molded cup bra that exists which also isn’t that great because it’s a minimizer (why is it assumed that if you have large boobs, you only are going to ever want them to appear smaller than they are?). Oh yeah, and it comes in nude, white and black… Fast and easy options? I think not.
I seriously need to figure out how to sew so I can make this: http://www.instructables.com/id/Bra/
i don’t think you’re inferior at all, girl. i am a size 12, too… well, i guess i vary from a size 10 to a size 14… depending on the clothing. and trust me, for so SO SO SO SO long i felt frustrated. i’m short, i have small boobs, and ginormous hips. so nothing fit me right. all my friends are super tiny and i felt interior. so i know what you mean and where you’re coming from. it wasn’t really until recently that i started taking a little extra time to try on more clothes and try bigger sizes and look for stuff that fit me – i don’t spend a lot of money… at all… on clothing, but i invest in a few things here or there that make me FEEL like a rockstar and it’s GREATLY improved the way i feel about my size. i used to feel so terrible about it, but now i wear it with pride, if you will. often in the hopes of showing other women or girls that you don’t have to be a size 4 or 6 to look fabulous in your clothes.
Sure, there are a lot of shorts and dresses and skirts and tops i can’t wear because of my size – but that’s okay. as long as i’m wearing what fits me and my body type, i feel better. once i realized it’s all about perspective, it helped a lot.
love this post, girl. you are a rockstar.
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I want to write a post about about having small boobs and how great it is without offending people with big boobs… And I don’t know how to! I feel like every shop I go into has large sections devoted to the fuller bust, with another section for ‘regular’ sizes… But where is my section!! Where is the teeny tiny section for those with the same size boobs as a twelve year old but without the penchant for pink frills and bows?
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I think you should go for it!
Great post I hear you on the specialty shop. Not being able to just grab a top and go is very frustrating and ten times worse when you need to find a dress.
Like you said you could get it fit just for you (something I’ve been thinking about lately) but yeah the laziness factor comes in then!
Visiting from SITS.
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I…..can…….relate!
I’m also a size 12/14 depending on brand…I’m not completely comfortable with my size..only because I would like to not have cellulite on my butt, and if I could do away with the mini kangaroo pouch, I’d be a freaking amazon babe! I enjoy being curvy- not when it comes time to shop, but I’ve never been any smaller than a 9, and I’m super healthy and that’s all that matters.
Bra shopping…not as hard for me, but I can forget about trying to be sexy in lingerie. What fits my body, doesn’t fit my boobs..what fits my boobs, doesn’t fit my body (38DD)
Cheap and lazy is not a bad thing sometimes! I thrift almost all of my clothing and fashion is sort of a hobby to me. But I have the days of throwing on a beanie and forgetting about it. I have never been the girl to buy brand names, designer clothes or wear high heels! Anyway, I think you are still looking cute with those cateye glasses. And you are happy! And that is all that really matters. Thanks for joining in!