It’s four in the morning. I can’t sleep. I probably didn’t do myself any favors by just downing a bunch of soda, but I had to get the taste of Texas Toast out of my mouth… and what’s the point anyway? When you can’t sleep, you might as well just stay up and vent what’s on your mind, right?
My sink is full of dishes. I’m pretty sure there are more dirty dishes right now than clean ones. I made a box of Texas Toast for dinner because the cookie sheet was the only thing clean enough to cook with that didn’t require me sitting by the stove to babysit it.
Shit. Did I forget to turn the oven off? Let me go check. No, I didn’t. It’s off now. I’m glad I decided to get up because that might have been bad…
I also feel bad because I said I was going to finish the footer on the website I’m working on and I didn’t because.. well… I’d been sitting on the computer for like eight hours straight working and I’m not used to doing that these days so I just sorta stopped.
The Texas Toast and the soda aren’t why I’m awake though.
We’ve been watching How I Met Your Mother and I usually kind of hate talking about TV shows because I sorta hate reading it when other people talk about TV shows they’ve watched because if I haven’t seen it already, I generally don’t want to know… either because of spoilers or because it’s boring to have to read about a show that you know nothing about… but you know, I’m just stalling.
We got to the episodes in season six where Barney meets his dad, and I kinda lost it… There’s a scene where he goes and has dinner at his dad’s house with his dad’s wife and his 11 year old half-brother, and he’s not so nice to the little half-brother and well… I know it’s a TV show, but it cut a little close to the bone.
I feel like there should be an explanation there, but right now… I just can’t. Maybe one day. But not today.
Authentic Experience is a hard title to have to live up to. I stole it from Outlandish Josh. He doesn’t blog much anymore, but when he does his “life” posts are tagged authentic experience… He’s one of the few bloggers that I’ve ever taken the time to dig into the long trail of archives on. He’s a good writer… and one of the things I took away from his authentic experience posts over the years is that none of us are alone in this.
And that’s what I’ve always wanted this blog to be… A place that’s reflective of what the authentic experience of life has been for me. I want to be candid. I want to be honest… and it’s not that I’m not those things, but I take the easy road most of the time. There are hard subjects that don’t get the attention I wish I were brave enough to give them.
And when I do get to them? I start them out by talking about Texas Toast and leaving the oven on because the only way I can get it out is to do a self-deprecating stream of conscious brain dump that I probably won’t even edit. How’s THAT for good writing, suckers?
The truth is… sometimes the authentic experience is hard, but that’s what makes us who we are.