Every once in awhile, no wait.. I’m lying… I do this quite frequently, I go on a blogger binge. This is when I’ve exhausted the list of blogs that I follow on Google Reader, Hello Cotton and Bloglovin’ and just start randomly clicking on any link that I can find that goes to another blog in search of a the mythical holy grail blogger whom I will fall in love with instantly and we will be BFFs the moment I comment on her blog and we’ll live happily ever after in bloggy internet bliss.
AKA, I’m unicorn hunting.
The trouble with this is somewhere into the second hour of looking at blogs, I tend to get really jaded and start finding ways to actively dislike just about every blog I click on, and I feel this sense of dread because every link I click on seems to set off things thing in my brain which says, “Nope, I’m not anything like her.”
My evening went a little something like this….
Click. This woman is really into running, my hips feel like they’re going to fall of when I run. Nope, I’m not like her.
Click. This woman has kids. Nope, I’m not like her.
Click. This woman has used the word Jesus in her blog post about a dozen times. I am really not like her.
Click. This woman lives in East Bumblefuck. What could I possibly have in common with her?
Okay, I’m bored now… Let’s stalk Twitter… Olympics, Olympics, Olympics. OH SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.
Click. Hmm… This one likes yoga. Maybe… Follow. No, wait she has kids.
Click. This woman only eats kale and vegetable smoothies. Nope.
Click. Oh god, what the fuck is that font?
Click. This woman owns dogs. Nope.
Click. Why is this woman posting so many pictures of her self in different outfits? Nope… But wait, she has a giveaway. Follow.
Back to Twitter. ARE WE STILL FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THE OLYMPICS?! SHUT UP ALREADY!!
This went on for… oh… somewhere in the range of about… eight hours. Well, minus the half an hour that I managed to pry myself away from the computer to read some of the last Hunger Games book… but yeah, about eight hours straight of me comparing myself to what basically amounts to a 30 second first impression of probably hundreds of women around the world.
And basically because I want an IM buddy on a Friday night. (Do bloggers still do that?)
Yeah… I’m special.
HAhahahaha, that’s great. I definitely do the same thing sometimes, it’s kinda ridiculous.
Alyx recently posted..No Favorites. I’m a Big Ball of Stress, Ready to Explode.
This is awesome….. I do the exact same thing when I blog hunt…. how come everyone has to have babies??? Haha.
Stephanie@meet.make.laugh. recently posted..meet.make.beach day craft fail.
Have you hacked into my Saturday night? Because this is exactly what I did, particularly about the fonts and/or anyone who has more pictures of her kids than anything else. It is blog speed-dating.
Somebody gchat’ed (word? maybe) me a few months ago when I first started blogging and asked me to IM them. I didn’t realize I still had IM on my computer. I got a little nostalgic.
Liz @ShiftlessMommie recently posted..Chesapeake Bakery: Cupcakes on Parade
Lol, picky, picky, picky. But this made me laugh. And yeah, I feel like I’m not prideful enough, but I really just don’t care about the Olympics. At all. I do like the fashion blogs, though. Sometimes. If the person talks back and doesn’t think they’re too good to. And I only follow one family blog because the family is freakin’ adorable! But most of the time I stay away from those kinds of blogs.
Jennifer recently posted..Sunday Songs LIII
Hahaha been there done that. A lot!! And Twitter was terrible Friday night thanks to the damn Olympics!
Lu recently posted..Caught you by the short and curlies….
it’s like you put a camera in my living room and spied on me. do you also wear your fanciest pajamas to celebrate the weekend or is that just me?
chrissy recently posted..hitched!
I’m not sure how we managed to squeak past your no kids blog policy, but I’m glad that we apparently did since you’ve commented on our blog a number of times =) so I feel bad/dumb for not knowing this but have you moved yet? or did something change with that. it looks like we’ll probably be in NYC August 8-9 unless we can’t figure out somewhere to stay really cheaply or freely, LOL, and we at least want to be able to meet up with you even if you’re not in need of moving help. you want to pile in our van with us and be our city guide? or since that would probably be crazy traffic-wise, what kinds of craziness would you recommend?
also, I do believe we use the same heading font on our blogs so I guess that means we pass that test as well
christina recently posted..oh hai!
HAH! Welcome to my life.
(I miss IMing. I get a little sad when I log into MSN or YIM and see tumbleweeds. Lame.)
Kim recently posted..Movie Review: The Amazing Spider-Man
Haaaa I’m so glad you linked this post up on my Weekly Faves. Hilarious! And I’m sure we’ve alllllll been there. I use MSN, mostly when I’m at university and all lonely. I live in Britain, so the whole “Olympics, Olympics, Olympics” has been going on since like, August last year. Kind of gotten used to it. And I hope I don’t fall into any of those categories you bypass! Well, I don’t think so seen as though you linked up! Haa. Loves!
Rebecca recently posted..GO TEAMGB
OMG THANK YOU! I was starting to feel EXTREMELY picky about which blogs I read. Thankfully there are plenty to read!
Sometimes I get all “woe is me I’m 26 and not married, no kids.. (and I like to pretend my life sucks but it totally doesn’t)” and I don’t want to read about how happy you are because you’re just married or trying to have a baby or having a baby or have like 10 babies.
I just want to read about someone else’s life that is semi-boring yet great, might have a pet and a boyfriend, and has a great sense of humor and uses sarcasm heavily. PS. You could be my unicorn. I’ll research this and get back to you!
Teh Megan recently posted..Australia Adventures #7
I do this exact same thing! I go through stages where I just want to discover something new – and I’m having a moment now!
Today’s method was to have a look on 20SB at the ‘Your Latest Post’ forum post, and yours is the first I have come across, so it was funny to read a post talking about exactly what I am doing!
On first impressions, it seems we have the following in common: No kids, no running, no dogs, no vegetables smoothies, no horrid fonts, and no Jesus. Oh, and no fashion blogs unless they have giveaways. But no giveaways if I have to jump through four hundred hoops of fire before I even have a chance to win the prize.
Great post!
Bloody hell. There are just so many mummy blogs out there. Or fashion blogs with fat girls. Whats wrong with good old fashioned humor?
Potentially crap blogger recently posted..I have a stalker… Suck on that Beyonce
YES!!!!!
Teh Megan recently posted..I found a tumblr… that wasn’t filled with naked chicks.
I ardently hate runnings, am so done with the Olympics, and, thank Jesus (ha ha), don’t have any kids. Also, the font on my blog is very legible.
Nice post. Glad I’m not the only one who gets lost in the wasteland of the internet for whole days at a time.
Elizabeth recently posted..Sleeping with the Dog Owner, Part I