Every once in awhile, no wait.. I’m lying… I do this quite frequently, I go on a blogger binge. This is when I’ve exhausted the list of blogs that I follow on Google Reader, Hello Cotton and Bloglovin’ and just start randomly clicking on any link that I can find that goes to another blog in search of a the mythical holy grail blogger whom I will fall in love with instantly and we will be BFFs the moment I comment on her blog and we’ll live happily ever after in bloggy internet bliss.
AKA, I’m unicorn hunting.
The trouble with this is somewhere into the second hour of looking at blogs, I tend to get really jaded and start finding ways to actively dislike just about every blog I click on, and I feel this sense of dread because every link I click on seems to set off things thing in my brain which says, “Nope, I’m not anything like her.”
My evening went a little something like this….
Click. This woman is really into running, my hips feel like they’re going to fall of when I run. Nope, I’m not like her.
Click. This woman has kids. Nope, I’m not like her.
Click. This woman has used the word Jesus in her blog post about a dozen times. I am really not like her.
Click. This woman lives in East Bumblefuck. What could I possibly have in common with her?
Okay, I’m bored now… Let’s stalk Twitter… Olympics, Olympics, Olympics. OH SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.
Click. Hmm… This one likes yoga. Maybe… Follow. No, wait she has kids.
Click. This woman only eats kale and vegetable smoothies. Nope.
Click. Oh god, what the fuck is that font?
Click. This woman owns dogs. Nope.
Click. Why is this woman posting so many pictures of her self in different outfits? Nope… But wait, she has a giveaway. Follow.
Back to Twitter. ARE WE STILL FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THE OLYMPICS?! SHUT UP ALREADY!!
This went on for… oh… somewhere in the range of about… eight hours. Well, minus the half an hour that I managed to pry myself away from the computer to read some of the last Hunger Games book… but yeah, about eight hours straight of me comparing myself to what basically amounts to a 30 second first impression of probably hundreds of women around the world.
And basically because I want an IM buddy on a Friday night. (Do bloggers still do that?)
Yeah… I’m special.