If you were to hack into my feed reader and take a browse around of all the blogs I read, you’d find some incredibly positive blogs… Blogs abound mindful intention and gratitude, blogs about body acceptance, blogs about sex positivity, blogs about inspiration. Blogs about self-love, worthiness and connection.
A lot of sunshine and unicorn farts, essentially.
Yet, in spite of the fact that these are the sorts of things that I enjoy reading and enrich my life… I’ve been noticing that when I sit down to write myself, the sort of things that come off my fingers are generally on the opposite side of the spectrum of positive.
There’s a lot of can’ts. A whole host of so and so did me wrongs and a whole lot of I’m so different, feel so sorry for little old me.
It’s one big ol’ pity party up in my head.
I’ve been feeling a little caught up in that lately. It’s left me questioning what exactly I should put out to the world and what I should hold back for just me. I don’t know how many times I’ve sat down recently and went to type up a blog entry and just had it be a string of self-deprecation. I’ve gotten part way through writing something and just been like, “Ehhh… I don’t think anyone really needs to read that.”
One of the disadvantages to the blogging medium sometimes is the fact that you have to keep posting to keep in touch with your audience, and well.. I like you people who comment on my blog and stuff, and I don’t want to just sit here wallowing in my self pity and not posting anything… That’s kinda lame.
I find it’s this odd balance at times… Positive and negative.
I try to focus on the positive… being grateful for things, enjoying every sandwich… and then I end up getting swept up in all of the things that I dislike about my current situation or recounting in excruciating detail situations that happened many many years ago that I’m still not fully over.
So, I ask you dear readers… How do you strike that balance? Are you a more positive or negative person?