Back in December, I participated in Stratejoy‘s Holiday Council and one of the things that we were asked to do within the course was to set a theme for the year. After brief meditation, the phrase that popped into my head was Creative Bravery.
Around the beginning of January, I decided to join up with Flock, a relig-ish community run by Rachelle Mee Chapman and one of the first practices she set forth was choosing a guiding star word for the year. My meditation around that yielded me the word Discovery.
Shortly after choosing a theme AND a guiding star word for the year, they kind of went underground into my subconscious. I didn’t do any artwork around them (though it had been suggested). I didn’t write them in a prominent place to keep me focused. I just floated the intentions out there and then forgot about it.
Except for at the same time, I didn’t forget about it because when I look back on the past two months I definitely have been doing a lot of things with the intent on discovering what I want out of this life and there has been creative baby-stepping behind the screen.
Two months into the year, I evaluate things as going well in regards to living towards my intentions.
I’m currently working on my vision of where I want to take my freelancing business and I’m working on the website for it. I’ve got a creative project in discussion with a friend and hopefully soon that will be in action. I’ve been intentionally quiet about the specifics of these things, and probably will be for a bit longer… but soon.
It’s not been easy. One minute I feel excited and full of confidence and the next I wonder, “Who am I to think I can do any of this?” and find myself lying on the living room crying. I’m taking it one day at a time, and at my own pace. Every little step is a brave one. Even the ones that happen behind closed doors.